CT scan results

I watched a U-tube video by Cate Field and played along.  I really liked the fact that she lined up her grid in a cockeyed fashion.  It really appealed to me.  I used cheap dollar store washi tape to make my grids and cheap craft paint (except for the blue).  I just didn’t want to do anything real, I just wanted to fool around.  Not my favourite but hey, I made a page. 

HEALTH UPDATE:  Yesterday, I had my phone appointment with my chemo doctor.  He was checking up on me, making sure I was feeling good after my transfusion on Wednesday.  He says the CT scan shows a reduction in the tumour of approximately 25-30%.  My husband and I had read the results already but it is so much better when the doctor says he sees the results as being positive too.   He hopes that the surgeon will be happy with it and will be willing operate as is!  He doesn’t want to give me more chemo due to issues with my hemoglobin, white and red blood count and platelets.  So….bottom line is it’s all up to the surgeon.  I don’t think they can operate right now especially since my neutrophils are so low  I wouldn’t be able to fight off an infection.  I hope my next blood test produces positive results!  I see the surgeon on Thursday, update to follow. 

Transfusion 3

This is where I spent the day yesterday. 

Sadly it seems that I have chemo induced anemia.  I’m hoping that there will be an improvement in the numbers next week after this transfusion. 

This time I was in chair 3 for my third transfusion since March 27.  I drew my view! 

No teeth cleaning for me

Oh No!!! I am so bummed that I can’t get my teeth cleaned as expected, waiting 6 weeks feels like a very long time! 

I’m loath to do it but I will cancel my re-scheduled cleaning appointment tomorrow.  I was waffling about it but think it might be for the best until I know what my future holds when I see the surgeon next month. 

I’ve loved my portable Waterpik very much but it only has 2 settings - ON and OFF!  So I went and bought this new grand-daddy gadget! I’m using the number 4 setting without any issues.  I had to stop using my portable because it sometimes made my gums bleed and that is not a good thing (and the reading I can’t get my teeth cleaned). 

Just in case you were wondering, I sat on our “great white telephone” and drew this with a cheap HB pencil.  Haven’t a clue why I didn’t pull out my good pencils.  I had to use a Q-tip (yes, the real deal) to do a bit of smudging.  Lastly, this morning, I added a bit of watercolour for the water container area. 

Phew! Treatments over

A celebratory page to document how we feel.  Phew! It’s over!  Time to let our bodies rest and get strong once again.  

I chose purple and gold and then it dawned on me that they are the colours of our alma mater.  We did long distance education to get our under graduate degrees.  I only went because my husband was doing it.  I had a big case of FOMO (fear of missing out!!)  I’m glad I did! My employer paid half of my tuition upon proof of successful completion of each credit.  So it was a good deal for me.  My husband finished earlier than I but he waited for me so that we could attend convocation together.  Wilfrid Laurier University is located in Waterloo Ontario and 2.5 hours south west of where we live.  I was so tickled that day!  Our daughter was there to see us receive our degrees.  

My husband saw his doctor today and his numbers are excellent and he will not need more treatments.  He will be followed up sometime in the future.  

Another blood test another transfusion

This is what happened on Friday.  Another blood test, another transfusion., only one unit of blood this time.  At least I’m done with being poked until the next blood test on the 29,  just before I get my CT scan.   Thankfully that is another 8 days away!  We made it home for 2 nights and that was good! It is always good to be home. We are back in the big city now for my husband’s last 2 treatments.  He is so glad that his treatments are coming to an end too! 

The nurse had some difficulty finding a suitable vein so she ended up using my right hand.  I had to write and draw this with my left.  I am not a lefty whatsoever.  I painted the page later because I just knew I would do a lousy job. 

I was so happy that I wore a pair of pull on’s so I could use the bathroom without assistance.   My husband joined me after he had his treatment.  He bought me lunch even though I wasn’t terribly hungry. 

Spring time in the big city

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny spring day in the big city and I didn’t want to miss it.  My husband had a late appointment for his radiation treatment so I walked down to St Clair St W with him.  I had made a plan to visit a shop and saw this little restaurant on the way from the bus stop.  On my way back I stopped in to purchase a treat for myself. A yummy handmade popsicle.  I sat outside on this tiny table and chair set and watched people walk by.  It was wonderful, that simple act made me so happy!  I love popsicles!  I’ve had lots of “freezies” to counteract the hot mouth brought on by chemotherapy but sitting out in the warm spring weather was so invigorating!  I felt so “normal”! 

Next time I’m by, I’ll have to check out their menu but normally I’ve already had lunch before I leave the house so I’ll probably just get another popsicle. 

I drew this page this morning from the photo I took.

Oh yes, I was the only person on the bus wearing a mask. Have I mentioned that I hate the bus! I much prefer the streetcar.  There is some work being done and the streetcars won’t be back until fall (or maybe later-you know how that goes)! 

Round 4 Day 2

I can’t believe it, I was patient number 88 and it was only 10 am! This is day 2 of my  my last 3 days of chemotherapy ( I hope!)  On the first day, the nurse put the IV in my right hand so my drawing is horrible and I’ve decided to turn the page on it.!  Regardless, I had the vein whisper that day and he did a fabulous job of getting the IV started.  I truly believe that my Guardian Angel helped with this, I think she supplied some magical essence to support me.  She is an art card that was created and sent to me by my friend Birgit.  She has been living in my sketchbook that I’ve had with me all along! I’ve drawn her each of these 3 “final” days. 

I think I finally learned a secret to veins too and that is hydration.  Yup! So simple, but I wasn’t drinking enough water before my infusion.  Happy that I had some fine nurses who cared for me during this difficult time!  I’m glad they used the veins in my hand and left my arms alone! 

My husband continues on his own journey through radiation treatments.  He has just over one week to go.  Then, I will also be having a blood test, X-ray and follow up with my chemo doctor next Friday.  

I’ve packed up the car in preparation for the drive home while my husband was at radiation.  I look forward to being able to spend more time at home before the next phase. 

Week 4 -Almost done

Week 4 almost done!  The out-patient workers had Good Friday off at Princess Margaret Hospital so technically it will be Monday’s radiation treatment that will complete the week. 

Sadly, I have had yet another setback and my chemotherapy that was scheduled for Monday has been postponed.  I expect the new date will be determined by my next blood test on Wednesday.  This past Wednesday, the blood test revealed that the reason I have been sleeping so much is due to the fact that my hemoglobin and red blood cells etc are all low.  So, I was immediately sent to get a transfusion and given 2 units (or 2 bags) of blood. 

This is in my small sketchbook that I made so it would fit my small purse.  I’m a chicken so I only looked quickly and had to look away. I only glanced once as the nurse hung the bags.   However, more importantly I found out that I will be able to give blood a year after I’m am cancer free. Good to know!!! 

So yes, I am disappointed but what can I do about it, nothing but enjoy the respite from the dreadful chemo, for a short time anyway.  Regardless, I’ll be back on the hamster wheel on Monday.

Wishing everyone a Happy Easter if you celebrate and if not enjoy your time off with family and friends. 

Week 3 done

Week 3 done! Tomorrow it starts all over again but it will be a short week with Friday being a holiday. 

I can’t believe how tired I’ve become.  I’m not a napper or a very good sleeper especially so after my diagnosis.  I had trained myself after retirement to do better at sleeping but that went out the window after my knee replacement surgery.  Now I pretty much sleep away the day. 

I don’t get a chance to really observe the room because I’m hustled over to the bed right away.  Then they have to match up my tattoos to ensure I’m in position.  The technicians are strong men and women. They do the movement, I just lay there as the move me.  Then they move the bed a teensy bit too.  Then they get the machine to scan me to ensure that I’m in fact going to get the treatment in the right places!  I find that very comforting. It’s a balance between human and machine to ensure delivery of the radiation therapy is going to the right places.  What a noise though; the whirling, banging, shuddering and sizzling! 

Every day I check, my skin still looks normal! Grateful for that! ( my mother had breast cancer 50 years ago and her chest was extremely well tanned.  Radiation treatment has advanced greatly since then).  Crossing my fingers and toes, only 2 more weeks or rather, 10 more radiation treatments. 

Treatment Room #5

Week 2 done.  Tomorrow we start Nbr 3 with three weeks of treatments to go for a total of 25 treatments.  Hopefully I don’t have to have more. 

I wait every day outside of treatment room #5.  When the Beam OFF lights up, I know it will soon be my turn. 

The technicians are slowing down on talking to me every second since I know what to expect now.  20 minutes and a quick change and I’m out of there. 

I like this quote so just decide to add it to my heart of hope! 

Lunch with Banting and Best

I just couldn’t eat breakfast again this morning before my radiation appointment.  Afterwards, we walked by this historic building (MARS building,  former Toronto General Hospital) that has a new renovation addition built next to it.  My hubby likes to research restaurants so we stopped in to check this one out.  It is a high end Italian restaurant with really nice ambiance and delicious food!  When we left, our table was the only empty one. 

I started the page before the lunch time rush so I couldn’t add in all of the people who were actually there. 

Just outside the door in the corridor was a large display about the work of Dr. Banting and Best and the discovery of insulin in 1921 (breakthrough research University of Toronto).  We spent a very long time reading the exhibits.  Love it when there is an unexpected free museum to enjoy after our brunch.  

Week 2- radiation treatment

I didn’t have breakfast this morning before I went to get my radiation treatment so I was starving at lunch time.

We use to have one of these restaurants in the medium sized city to our south.  My father always loved eating there because he ate at this location too back in the day (after WWII- my father is deceased) in Canada’s biggest city.  The restaurant in our town has since closed down.  This location in Toronto was packed and we were lucky to get a table right away.  

Super thrilled to get a chance to draw in my little handmade sketchbook.  I added colour when we got back from our walk.  

I have to say I was pooped after our walk-about!  That wind chilled me right through even though I was wearing my long underwear (in the new parlance, it’s called a “base layer”)!  I had to flip up my hood to keep my poor head warm.  My hat just wasn’t doing its job. I’m happy the temperatures will improve tomorrow!

Back in the Big City

We are back in the big city for my radiation treatment tomorrow.  The wrinkle in the ointment this time is our granddaughter is sick.  I was lucky enough to snag a room at the Marriott.  So glass half full - we get to eat out at interesting places.  There is a Taiwanese restaurant across the street (we don’t have one in the city to the south of us) so looking forward to giving it a go. 

So happy we were home for 2 nights and w@e got to sleep in our own bed! Sweet!  Here is a page I did the last time we were here.  Oh, just realised I need to do more journaling on the page.  Later.  Just so you know, I bought the pink tin solely based on the colour.  It will have watercolour paints in it when the candy is gone.  I was actually looking for Grey Poupon but I haven’t been able to find it.  This jar is very lovely so the heck with Grey Poupon!!

The real reason for this post is the fact that I was internally whining about my vein problems then I saw him.  I need to stop feeling sorry for myself! 

Round 3 - Day 2

Day 2- The nurse tried to flush the line that was put in the day before but it hurt so much she took it out.  She moved over to my left arm and she was able to find a good vein.  I was happy that it was back in my left arm so I could sleep.  I’m a side sleeper and  I prefer my right side so I was thrilled to have the line left there for the 3rd and final chemo day. 

Luckily I had a person across from me to keep me occupied.  My perspective is off but I’m going to say that I don’t care.  I’m happy with my page.

Round 3 - Day 1

This is my page I drew on Monday, Day one of this round of Chemotherapy and radiation.  It seems that chemo has done something to my veins and the nurse had some difficulty trying to find a vein.  She got another nurse to come and put the line in my right hand instead.  The problem is; I’m a full on right handed chick. So this was a very laborious task.  I painted some of it at home especially all of my “hearts of hope”.  It was supposed to be a shorter day but with the addition of the bag of magnesium because it showed low on my blood test.

Slow drawing

I started this on Thursday after shovelling 8 inches of snow around the house and out to the bird feeder.  Afterwards, I treated myself to watching the slow drawing with Amy of Mindful Art Studio.  Wasn’t loving the circle floating on the page so I added some line work to fill in some of the white space.  Like it better now. 

Health Update:

My blood was good on Friday so chemo is a go for tomorrow and radiation too.  Our daughter will drop us off.  My husband also found out that he can get his radiation treatment at Princess Margaret as well.  We were diagnosed within weeks of each other.  My husband is concerned about mine since the tumour is so large.  However, I’m concerned for him too even though his doc says his cancer isn’t growing now with the meds he is on. He sees his new radiation doctor on Wednesday and he can get his treatment at the same time in the same hospital as I am. I’m being totally selfish since I will need him to be healthy when they crack my chest open to remove the tumour;  I want to recuperate at home.  This has been a stressful time for us both.  We must be one of the most unluckiest couples ever but we are determined to beat it.  Travelling is calling us!! 

Heart of Hope

I had read the report on line with the results of the CT scan from last Thursday.  It didn’t look good to me but I was waiting to see what the doctor said.  He called last night at 2100 hrs (imagine that!), with the sad news.  The chemotherapy treatment has not produced the desired results.  So my treatment plan has been changed to chemotherapy three days a week and radiation for 5.   Just waiting for the update on my patient portal to see when it actually starts.  I can see 3 chemotherapy treatments scheduled already starting March 4.  There will also be yet another change in the medication that I’ll receive.  I see the radiation doctor tomorrow and I’m sure those appointments will be adjusted after our meeting.   Not positive yet but I could be moving in to our daughters house sooner rather than later.  We shall see.  I don’t know how much I’ll be working in my sketchbook from here on in.  I started a page yesterday that I need to finish,  that is as far as I can think right now. 

I’m glad I left some white space to update my page with the new information. 

I’d like to thank everyone for your kind comments, thoughts and prayers.  All I can do now is HOPE that this new regime will do the trick and make me eligible for surgery which is the desired end result. 

Needles and Pins

Here is the last page I made in my sketchbook that was inspired by the “Bobby pins” I found in the pocket of my fuzzy sweater coat.  Since I won’t be needing them for a long time to come, it reminded me of the initial phase of losing my hair.   Back then, the song popped into my head,  “Needles and Pins”by the Searchers.  It was done by a female artist before them but theirs is the rendition I recall.  I also liken the feeling to when I was a kid and would walk barefoot on crispy dried grass in late August. That yucky prickly feeling on the soles of my feet except that horrid sensation was on my head.  So weird!  I’m having some difficulty going through this hair loss.  Well, it’s a done deal now.  I know it will grow back and all that jazz, I just hate the indignity of it. 

Here is a sketch I did of myself looking into the reflection of myself in my iPad. Not a great resemblance but that’s okay, I look pretty good for a baldy. 

Sadly, after that,  things took a nosedive and I’ve been sleeping more than being awake.  So far, I’m feeling a bit better today, I do have more energy especially after having eaten half a bagel with my morning coffee. 

Needle Day

Yesterday was needle in the belly day so I stayed in my jammies since I wasn’t going out anywhere.  For a time, I managed to forget about it.  But the time did come and my hubby had to do the nasty.  I felt bad for him, he was nervous to stick a needle into his wife.  He got the job done. The injection is to improve my white blood cells in my bones depleted by chemotherapy.  I didn’t want to see the needle out of the package let alone the business end.  Job well done my dear! 

I celebrated with the family with a while we ate a lovely pancake Tuesday dinner. 

Second Treatment

My treatment yesterday went well with the new medication and the distribution of the anti-nausea meds.  I didn’t need the “rescue pill” like I did for the first treatment.  It took one hour less time because I didn’t have to wait for another bag of saline solution.  I’m glad because I found lying on the bed uncomfortable; I don’t want to lie down to draw and the mattress bunches up too much. 

Anyway, no sense complaining over this, I just put up with it.  There was more beds in this pod than chairs which for me would have been my preference. 

I’m eating just fine today and even had a coffee this morning (my stomach pill beforehand though).   Then, I had my anti-nausea pills with my breakfast.  So far so good! 

2nd treatment is a go

It took us 2.5 hours from our front door to Princess Margaret in the big city.  Traffic was atrocious.  Hwy 401 had some lane closures and the traffic back up was all the way to Hwy 400 that we use to get to Toronto.  We only arrived just in the nick of time for my blood test.  Thankfully we left “early”!   I have no idea how commuters deal with this each day! 

My numbers are good this time so my treatment on Monday is a go!! Yippee!! Creatinine Serum was 73 - smack dab in the middle of the normal range.  It seems that my kidneys have rebounded quite a bit but not quite to where my numbers were before my first treatment in January. 

We are leaving tomorrow and heading to Toronto to stay with our family.   Everyone is well again, thank goodness.  I don’t want a repeat from yesterday on my treatment day. 

Ring lost and found

Losing weight without trying is a sure sign that things aren’t good with my health.  I never noticed that I had lost weight until I got a surprise at the doctors office.  This actually happened last month but I finally finished the page today.  As things stand, I think I’m going to have to take my other rings off on my right hand before I lose them as well.  So very glad my husband found my wedding band in the fridge crisper and it is now safe in my jewllery box. 

I can see now that my skin tone here is all blotchy.  Oh well, I’ve moved on to a new page. 

I’m not a barista

I’ve never been this close to an expresso machine before so I took the opportunity to document it.  I’m liking the wonkiness of the drawing, it makes me smile.  I used pen and watercolour pencil (wordless pencils) and some coloured markers. 

We are heading home today, I would rather be home if I’m not getting treatment.  Happy that we were staying near our family even though we couldn’t actually stay at their house. 

Chemo and Willie

This is a hard post; I’ve had to give it a day and let my emotions rest.  My chemo has been cancelled for Monday and rescheduled for a week.  My blood test yesterday showed some bad numbers and the doctor wants me to rest.  One of the chemo drugs is hard on kidneys and apparently mine need time to recover.  When I do get the next chemo they will change to a different cocktail. So I’ve cried and bought myself some chemo hats. 

I was so happy that Wiarton Willie says spring is near.  However, he has only been right 25% of the time.  They have a big festival in Wiarton for the occasion.  I’ve never been to it as we usually visit Wiarton Ontario in the summertime.  It is a nice little town.  We usually enjoy lunch at the pub down by the waterfront with a nice cold beverage.  Willie’s statue is nearby.  I think the original Willie was an albino but I’m not positive.  I think I made him look like a salamander.  Oh well! 

Here’s my page from yesterday.

Easily digestible fruits

Tomorrow we drive south again to Toronto, Canada’s largest city.  I have 3 appointments on Friday and if the tests all come back good to go I’ll have my 2nd round of chemotherapy on Monday. 

As luck would have it, our daughter has the flu so we will be staying at an Airbnb.  I’ve had to add that fact to my page. 

I don’t have any need to go down this isle but have used it as a detour to get to the back of the store.  But I never actually “looked” at the products.  I need to eat more fruit and remembered that I thought that the baby food variety wasn’t so bad.  Yup, I can do it for 3 or 4 days until I get over the sickie stage.  I was surprised to see that the prune puree is made in Italy.  I guess we don’t grow enough plums here in Canada.  I still think it is terrible that all that plastic is used for baby food.  I only found one company that put their food in a glass jar.  

I bought some flavoured apple sauce too and jelly desserts but I’m not a big fan of them.  But will force them down for the 4 days or so.  Hopefully my upset tummy won’t last any longer than the last round did.  I had coffee on the 5th day after the chemo. 

I really like the birdies that I added in my sky! 

Sewing fabric strips together

As you know, normally I work in my sketchbook but no time for sketchbook work for me today. These four squares have taken me all week to sew.  I’ve been watching Kathryn  k3nclothtales on U-Tube and following along except for the week (week 3) when I had my first chemotherapy treatment.  What I like about this project is that I used up all the scraps except for what you see on the left.  The square on the top right ↗️ is my favourite.  I tossed the strips out of the bag when I realised that I was running out of long pieces.  I played with them for a bit until I could sew them all down.  I don’t think I’ll sew the squares together because I don’t have a plan for them.  I’m just going to let them “BE” for now.  Thanks again to Kathryn, I definitely need this meditative distraction. 

No Power and two mallards

Yesterday began as a very good day, then the bottom fell out when we lost power for almost 8 hours.  There was a pole fire up on the highway just a few poles south of our concession road.  They had to hook up a new pole.  Of course, we had to drive around to see where the problem was because the WiFi was out and this sort of thing isn’t newsworthy.  I kept getting updates from Hydro One on my phone pushing back the time for completion but finally at 19:23 (for regular folks that 7:23 pm) the lights came on. 

I was up before sunrise and saw something dark under the bird feeder.  Then I saw the ducks head against the snow.  I think Mother Nature has sent out some inappropriate signals; it’s only January, we have lots of winter left here even though we are having a January thaw.  

They didn’t come back so maybe they’re heading south again. 

We went to town yesterday

My gosh how I missed driving Bertha! It was such a good feeling to get her out of the yard and down the highway.  When I had my knee replacement surgery, I let her sit and it cost me a whole pile of dough to get her brakes machined.  I don’t want that to happen again.  I will make my hubby drive her if I have to but he doesn’t like to drive her.  

I was thrilled to wear real clothing yesterday so I thought I’d should document that fact.  I’m supremely happy to feel normal once again. 

Bananas and Maple syrup

It seems that I’m getting better each day because I’ve not had to take my allergy pill since my chemo treatment.  I will tonight though.  The brain works in mysterious ways.  I don’t know why it planted this seed but I accepted it as is.  I’ve had to find foods that are easily digestible especially fruits as I am supposed to stay away from anything acidic.  

I’ve never been a real lover of bananas but have learned to eat them as an adult.  However, I’m really picky about how I eat my bananas.  No banana pudding, ice cream, jello or even banana splits for me.  Woolworths (yes, that was a long time ago) use to have banana split days when I was a kid but I never played “pop the balloon” to win one!   Now, I do appreciate a cut up banana in milk drizzled with maple syrup.  Yes you got it, I love my maple syrup and there is always a bottle in the fridge.  I will admit that banana bread muffins with chocolate chips will happily rest in my stomach too. 

I drank coffee today

I had my first round of chemotherapy on Monday, this morning I felt well enough to have a cup of coffee.  It has been a tough few days.  Thankfully the anti-nausea medications worked  but they did a number on my bowels.  

I’m getting the heavy duty 3 drug cocktail all at one go.  The nurse pushed the first drug in manually.  No I didn’t watch!!!  She did her job and I did mine and that is to look away and stay calm. 

What I learned is that I need to wear loose clothing because all the fluids that they put in you makes you urinate with great regularity.  My husband had to go with me and undo and do up my jeans since the IV was in the top portion of my hand.  I looked around and noticed the other chemo patients were either smarter than me or this wasn’t their first day at the rodeo!  Next time it’s sweat pants for this chick. 

My hubby will have to come with regardless since I can’t wash my hand,  it needs a friend to get clean!  Oh well, in sickness and in health and all that. 

He is a good man and is cooking up some comfort food for supper tonight. 

Thymoma

I never thought I would document this in my sketchbook but it is what it is.  It’s happening to me right now.  Last Wednesday, I met with yet another doctor and it has been decided that radiation therapy is not the way to go for me at this juncture.  I may get radiation after the operation that will remove the large tumour lying on my right lung and bordering on my esophagus and heart. 

In November, I was diagnosed with having cancer; a thymoma tumour.   Tomorrow, I will receive my first chemotherapy treatment; a 3 drug cocktail.  The infusion takes many hours, at least 4 and possibly more.  

In the last few weeks,  we have been staying with our family in Canada’s largest city!  Our local regional hospital doesn’t have the capacity to deal with my type of cancer so my care has been transferred to a renowned cancer hospital in Toronto.  My mother went there 50 years ago because there was no cancer care available  locally in those days. 

With this new regime I can go home and return to the big city in February for another infusion of chemotherapy. 

So I’m not sure if I will document much of this journey or if I will feel like scrolling.   So I thought I’d mention why I’ve been absent and why I may disappear from posting. Or, maybe I will feel not bad, who knows. 

I see faces

I bought a mystery fabric pack at the charity shop and this battenburg lace was in it.  It has been a long time since I’ve seen one of these - a Kleenex box cover! I have never used one because I never really thought that it was important to glam up a tissue box. Not my style to be sure.   So I’ve cut it up to re-use and re-purpose.  Then I saw it! I saw a face and thought, “How appropriate is that!!!?”  Do you see what I see?!