Heart of Hope

I had read the report on line with the results of the CT scan from last Thursday.  It didn’t look good to me but I was waiting to see what the doctor said.  He called last night at 2100 hrs (imagine that!), with the sad news.  The chemotherapy treatment has not produced the desired results.  So my treatment plan has been changed to chemotherapy three days a week and radiation for 5.   Just waiting for the update on my patient portal to see when it actually starts.  I can see 3 chemotherapy treatments scheduled already starting March 4.  There will also be yet another change in the medication that I’ll receive.  I see the radiation doctor tomorrow and I’m sure those appointments will be adjusted after our meeting.   Not positive yet but I could be moving in to our daughters house sooner rather than later.  We shall see.  I don’t know how much I’ll be working in my sketchbook from here on in.  I started a page yesterday that I need to finish,  that is as far as I can think right now. 

I’m glad I left some white space to update my page with the new information. 

I’d like to thank everyone for your kind comments, thoughts and prayers.  All I can do now is HOPE that this new regime will do the trick and make me eligible for surgery which is the desired end result. 

Needles and Pins

Here is the last page I made in my sketchbook that was inspired by the “Bobby pins” I found in the pocket of my fuzzy sweater coat.  Since I won’t be needing them for a long time to come, it reminded me of the initial phase of losing my hair.   Back then, the song popped into my head,  “Needles and Pins”by the Searchers.  It was done by a female artist before them but theirs is the rendition I recall.  I also liken the feeling to when I was a kid and would walk barefoot on crispy dried grass in late August. That yucky prickly feeling on the soles of my feet except that horrid sensation was on my head.  So weird!  I’m having some difficulty going through this hair loss.  Well, it’s a done deal now.  I know it will grow back and all that jazz, I just hate the indignity of it. 

Here is a sketch I did of myself looking into the reflection of myself in my iPad. Not a great resemblance but that’s okay, I look pretty good for a baldy. 

Sadly, after that,  things took a nosedive and I’ve been sleeping more than being awake.  So far, I’m feeling a bit better today, I do have more energy especially after having eaten half a bagel with my morning coffee. 

Needle Day

Yesterday was needle in the belly day so I stayed in my jammies since I wasn’t going out anywhere.  For a time, I managed to forget about it.  But the time did come and my hubby had to do the nasty.  I felt bad for him, he was nervous to stick a needle into his wife.  He got the job done. The injection is to improve my white blood cells in my bones depleted by chemotherapy.  I didn’t want to see the needle out of the package let alone the business end.  Job well done my dear! 

I celebrated with the family with a while we ate a lovely pancake Tuesday dinner. 

Second Treatment

My treatment yesterday went well with the new medication and the distribution of the anti-nausea meds.  I didn’t need the “rescue pill” like I did for the first treatment.  It took one hour less time because I didn’t have to wait for another bag of saline solution.  I’m glad because I found lying on the bed uncomfortable; I don’t want to lie down to draw and the mattress bunches up too much. 

Anyway, no sense complaining over this, I just put up with it.  There was more beds in this pod than chairs which for me would have been my preference. 

I’m eating just fine today and even had a coffee this morning (my stomach pill beforehand though).   Then, I had my anti-nausea pills with my breakfast.  So far so good! 

2nd treatment is a go

It took us 2.5 hours from our front door to Princess Margaret in the big city.  Traffic was atrocious.  Hwy 401 had some lane closures and the traffic back up was all the way to Hwy 400 that we use to get to Toronto.  We only arrived just in the nick of time for my blood test.  Thankfully we left “early”!   I have no idea how commuters deal with this each day! 

My numbers are good this time so my treatment on Monday is a go!! Yippee!! Creatinine Serum was 73 - smack dab in the middle of the normal range.  It seems that my kidneys have rebounded quite a bit but not quite to where my numbers were before my first treatment in January. 

We are leaving tomorrow and heading to Toronto to stay with our family.   Everyone is well again, thank goodness.  I don’t want a repeat from yesterday on my treatment day. 

Ring lost and found

Losing weight without trying is a sure sign that things aren’t good with my health.  I never noticed that I had lost weight until I got a surprise at the doctors office.  This actually happened last month but I finally finished the page today.  As things stand, I think I’m going to have to take my other rings off on my right hand before I lose them as well.  So very glad my husband found my wedding band in the fridge crisper and it is now safe in my jewllery box. 

I can see now that my skin tone here is all blotchy.  Oh well, I’ve moved on to a new page. 

I’m not a barista

I’ve never been this close to an expresso machine before so I took the opportunity to document it.  I’m liking the wonkiness of the drawing, it makes me smile.  I used pen and watercolour pencil (wordless pencils) and some coloured markers. 

We are heading home today, I would rather be home if I’m not getting treatment.  Happy that we were staying near our family even though we couldn’t actually stay at their house. 

Chemo and Willie

This is a hard post; I’ve had to give it a day and let my emotions rest.  My chemo has been cancelled for Monday and rescheduled for a week.  My blood test yesterday showed some bad numbers and the doctor wants me to rest.  One of the chemo drugs is hard on kidneys and apparently mine need time to recover.  When I do get the next chemo they will change to a different cocktail. So I’ve cried and bought myself some chemo hats. 

I was so happy that Wiarton Willie says spring is near.  However, he has only been right 25% of the time.  They have a big festival in Wiarton for the occasion.  I’ve never been to it as we usually visit Wiarton Ontario in the summertime.  It is a nice little town.  We usually enjoy lunch at the pub down by the waterfront with a nice cold beverage.  Willie’s statue is nearby.  I think the original Willie was an albino but I’m not positive.  I think I made him look like a salamander.  Oh well! 

Here’s my page from yesterday.