Life constantly is changing! My life is inextricably intertwined with my dad's and I realise how much it is now that I am cleaning out my dad's house. It has finally been sold! It is strange to me to realise that where he is now in his life is where I someday soon, will also be. I will be a loved but also a burden to my own daughter. Even saying that he is a burden sounds so selfish but I am struggling to juggle my own life and my dad's too. I do wish that I could share this with another sibling but since that is impossible I am forcing my dear hubby to help out! Isn't love grand!
Somehow I will have to try and avoid some of the pitfalls of aging. The way I see it is that being an involved and social person is so very important, especially being able to maintain one's own independency both mentally and physically. So having said that, I WILL go for a walk today before I go into town to box up more of my dad's life. I am amazed at how little feeling he has for much of the memorabilia. Here I am oohing and aaaahing over some old picture of mom or a receipt for a painting that has adorned their walls for decades; he on the other hand, could care less. Strange how many of the gifts that I bought mom for christmas and birthdays are now coming back to me. I guess I will have to let my own daughter understand their importance so that she will not in turn view them as superfluous articles of little or no value! My daughter is very much a minimalist due to the fact that she too lives in a very small house. However, I have to determine what items have sentimental value to me and those that my mother also valued. Like the cross that has hung up over the doorway since I can remember. I know that it will sound so strange but it was from my grandmothers casket. She was being buried in Montreal and the grave-digger told my mom to take it because it would be gone before the final burial. I don't think my daughter has any interest in this type of religious iconography and neither do I really. I can't explain why I need to keep the cross that was meant for burial of a woman that I only recall meeting but once.
It is hard to compartmentalize my mom and dad's married life; a life that has been long and full! I am trying to decide what to keep, what to throw away and what to sell!
Here is a picture of one of the presents that I made for mom that is coming home to me! It was made too many years ago to count on a weekend (back in the day when I worked normal hours) with a bunch of girls from work. We gathered together in her basement to clean and paint our "dolls". The dress was made of lace and the hair was fashioned from dog hair; everything was soaked in "slip" and fired in a kiln. I made another doll and her dress was made from a soaked J-Cloth!!!
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